do you ever see a picture of someone with a body like yours and you’re momentarily comforted like they look pretty good…i probably look good too
I did all of the things I said I was going to do today.
I got up early, went to the shops and treated myself to some new lipstick colours, plus my polaroid camera and a few other bits and bobs. Bought my dad some CD’s for his birthday (today) and then I dyed my hair. I then went to IKEA and helped Veronica build some of the furniture afterwards before we went to the fire twirling thang.
But it ended up being one person doing some fire-poi with a small audience, I don’t see how that’s anywhere near a festival standard. So we got burritos in Southbank instead.
I had a lovely day, a lovely weekend and am keen and ready for a big week at work. I only have a couple of weeks left in the easy life of software before I have budgets and numbers and stress and a lot of information to shove in my tiny mind. So I’m going to make the most of it!
I look back on all the different relationships I’ve been half in and half out of in the last year and think of how cute all of the guys were and all of that, and how right now any one of them laying in bed with me just wrapped around me for the sake of being there would be nice.
Then I remember the reason none of them are, are because they’re empty shells of boys that would never have been wrapped around me just for the sake of being there, and we were never actually anything in the first place. So when I think I miss them, I actually don’t because there wasn’t much other than a pretty face to miss.
And that makes me feel like I’ve been surrounding myself with false ideas of company for so long I’ve actually forgotten that I’m really quite lonely.
And that’s pretty shit.